Story Teller

Life as a mom, cook, and blogger in Durban is never quiet. But I have learned that a little routine makes everything softer and easier. Here is how I balance it all — maybe it will help you too. 1. I Start Early, With Tea and Quiet Before the house wakes up, I make rooibos tea. I sit for 10 minutes. I plan my day in a small notebook. This quiet time helps me write better stories later. 2. Morning: Family and Food First Mornings are for lunchboxes and breakfast. I try to cook simple, budget-friendly meals. I plan for the week on Monday — it saves money and stress. Lately I have been using online tools to find grocery deals and organize my shopping list. 3. Midday: Blogging Time When the house is calm, I write. I share real stories, not perfect ones. I take photos with my phone in natural light. My tip: write like you are talking to a friend. 4. Afternoon: Rest and Everyday Living I clean, I rest, I spend time with family. I learned that a peaceful home is more important than a perfect h...

 I used to think strength was about never crying. About holding everything together without breaking. But being a single mom taught me that real strength looks completely different. Strength is not loud. It's quiet. It's in the small moments no one sees. 1. Strength is waking up and choosing to continue. There are mornings when I am so tired. The baby didn't sleep, the house is a mess, and my phone has no data. But I still get up. I make breakfast. I smile at my baby. That choice, every single day, is strength. It's not because I feel strong. It's because love doesn't give me another option. 2. Strength is asking for help without feeling ashamed. For a long time, I thought asking for help meant I failed. Now I know it means I am wise. I cannot do everything alone, and that's okay. Allowing my mom to hold the baby while I write one article, or allowing a friend to listen to me vent — that is not weakness. That is how I survive and grow. 3. Strength is protect...

 I used to think healing had a deadline. 30 days to move on. 2 months to be okay. 6 months to be completely fine. If I wasn't okay by then, I thought something was wrong with me. But healing doesn't work like that. Healing is not a race. It doesn't have a finish line that you have to cross quickly. For a long time, I rushed. I rushed to smile when I still wanted to cry. I rushed to say "I'm over it" when my heart was still hurting. I rushed to be strong for everyone, while I was breaking silently inside. And rushing only made the wound deeper. Because when you rush healing, you don't heal. You just hide. This is what I learned slowly: 1. Some days will be heavy again — and that's okay. Healing is not a straight line. Some mornings you will feel light. Some nights you will feel heavy again. It doesn't mean you failed. It means you are still human. 2. Silence is also healing. I stopped explaining my pain to everyone. I stopped needing everyone to und...

 Dear younger me, If I could sit next to you right now, on that small bed where you used to cry quietly so no one would hear you, I would not start with advice. I would just sit with you. I would hold your hand and let you know, you don't have to be strong today. I know you think you are behind. You see other girls smiling, getting it together, and you wonder what is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you, my love. You are just feeling things deeply in a world that told you to hurry. I want to tell you a few things I wish someone told you then. First, you don't have to earn love by being perfect. You spent so many years trying to be the good girl, the quiet one, the one who never complains. You thought if you were easy to love, people would stay. But love that needs you to shrink is not love. The right people will love you even on the days you are messy, tired, and not smiling. Second, that heartbreak that feels like the end of the world? It is not. I know it feels like you ...

 For a long time, I thought healing had to be big. I thought I needed more money, a new life, or to finally become the woman I imagined in my head. But healing didn't come that way for me. It came in small, boring, quiet habits that nobody posted about. These 5 small habits are what actually saved my mental health: 1 . Making My Bed Every Single Morning This was the first one. Before I checked my phone, before I thought about my problems, I made my bed. It took 2 minutes. But it gave me one win before 8am. On days when my thoughts felt messy and out of control, I could look at my bed and say, "At least I did that." Sometimes you need one small proof that you can still show up for yourself. 2. Stepping Outside for 10 Minutes With No Phone I started forcing myself to go outside. Not to jog. Not to be productive. Just to sit. I would leave my phone inside and sit on my chair or under a tree. I would watch the clouds, listen to people passing, feel the sun on my face. I reali...

 For years, I lived in the shadow of other women. I would scroll and see a woman with perfect skin, perfect relationship, perfect business, and I would ask myself, "What is wrong with me? Why am I behind?" I compared my body to hers. My healing to hers. My motherhood to hers. My bank account to hers. And every time I compared, I felt smaller. The truth is, comparison never told me I was inspired. It only told me I was not enough. This is how I finally stopped. 1. I realized I was comparing my real life to her highlight. That woman I envied? I didn't see her crying at 2am. I didn't see her debt. I didn't see her loneliness. I was comparing my full, messy, real life to a 5-second edited photo. It was never a fair comparison. 2. I muted what made me feel small. This was hard. I unfollowed accounts that made me feel like I had to compete. Not because they are bad women – they are beautiful – but because I was not healed enough to watch them without hurting myself. Pro...

 Healing is lonely. No one tells you that part. They tell you "time heals" and "stay strong" – but they don't tell you that at 2 AM in Durban, when your child is sleeping, you will sit alone with your thoughts and wonder if you will ever feel normal again. I am there right now. And if you are too, this is for you. 1. Healing is not a straight line Yesterday I felt powerful. I posted my story, I smiled, I cooked, I felt okay. Today I woke up and cried in the shower. That doesn't mean I failed. It means healing comes in waves. Some days you swim, some days you sink, but you are still in the ocean moving forward. 2. You will outgrow people while healing As I heal, I speak less. I go out less. I say no more. Some friends don't understand why I am quiet now. But healing needs space. You cannot heal in the same noise that broke you. It's okay to be alone for a season. 3. Loneliness is not abandonment Being alone while healing is not punishment. It is prepa...